Silence is Golden! 5 easy steps to bringing silence into your daily lives!

The conductor of the youth orchestra I was in as a teenager always used to say "the most important part of the music is the silence". This amused me and I used to think about silence a lot as I played.

The passing of Goenka Ji last week has again had me thinking about silence - in particular how vitally IMPORTANT it is, and how DIFFICULT it is to achieve!!!

For those of you who don't know much about this Goenka fellow he popularised the practice of Vipassana Meditation - a meditation which requires 10 DAYS of silent meditation - no talking, giggling, singing, reading, writing, exercising, eye contact with others, touch - no interactions of any kind other than to focus your mind on your respiration and physical sensations for 11 hours a day. (There's a lot more to it than that but that's a story for another day.)


The point here is TEN DAYS OF SILENCE!!!! Think you could do it?? Well I must admit - and I don't usually share this - the girls in my boarding room and I started talking to each other on day 7 (gasp)!

The truth is, silence is something we are unconditioned to in our Western culture - and we really, REALLY struggle to allow it into our daily lives, or at least to acknowledge it and enjoy it.

Picture this - you're driving to work, you've been on the road for about 20 minutes then realise the radio isn't on - what do you do? You turn it on of course! Everyone is out in the garden but for no reason you know of, the TV is on. It's the weekend - you have no real responsibilities or people accountable to but you leave the sound on your phone on just so as not to miss a call. Your alarm goes off every morning regardless of the fact you only need to wake up at that time 5 days a week and so on and so on......

All these random sounds of daily living - the machines, gadgets and people around us - they get in the way of our calm! They disrupt our peace of mind, make it difficult to concentrate, mess with our flow and put 'bristles' in our energy fields! And this happens day after day after day after day after..... (you get the idea).

So hear are five REALLY EASY and EFFECTIVE tips on how you can welcome bits of silence back into your daily lives:

1) KEEP YOUR PHONE OUT OF THE BEDROOM
Yes, you may need an alarm - so buy an old fashioned bedside alarm clock! An alarm clock makes a REALLY annoying noise too - but it only happens once a day. By keeping the mobile off limits in the bedroom you eliminate the text beeps, the email beebs, the ringtones, the click, click, click of the keypad. And if this isn't enough motivation think of all the extra quality time you can be having in the bedroom once it's a phone free zone (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)...

2) TURN THE RADIO OFF FOR THAT SWEET SOUND
The sweet sound of silence that is. This is really important in the car - on the way to work, on road trips, family holidays etc. If you are having conversations or playing car games turn the radio off! You'll concentrate better on the people around you plus you won't be overloading your poor minds with layers of sounds and distracting noise. Try turning the radio or music off regardless of whether you have others in the car with you or not. 5 minutes of silence every now and again gives you heaps of clarity and I find the best ideas come to me when I'm driving :)

3)MAKE SOME DAILY QUIET TIME
This is not about having complete silence all around you but about you consciously considering this to be your quiet time. Obviously announcing to the family that you'll be expecting 30 minutes of silence every morning while you have your coffee and paper isn't going to work for most! So aim small - your quiet time might be while you hang out the clothes, check your emails at the beginning of the work day, go for a run or do the groceries. For me it's at bath time. When I bath my daughter I let her play and splash whilst I quietly watch and enjoy a sneaky half glass of red! Of course I help her and talk to her when she needs or wants me but on the whole we've fallen into a lovely pattern of her having independent play time in the bath while I rest and watch. Quiet time is total bliss!!

4)USE A QUIET TIME SIGN
OK so this one may take a bit of time to catch on to those around you - but, just like when introducing any other rule, a 'Shhh, it's my quiet time' sign (or something to that effect) will eventually catch on and it really works! Hang it on the bathroom door while you have a bath, hang it on your desk when you need to stop gossiping with your colleagues and actually get some work done, put it at the front door if you don't want people knocking or on your bedroom while taking a nap. Don't leave the sign up all day or people won't take it seriously. Keep it up for half an hour so they know you mean business and to keep it an achievable goal.

5) TURN OFF THE TELEVISION WHEN NO ONE IS ACTUALLY WATCHING IT
This is a no-brainer but for some reason we have trouble doing it. It's fairly safe to say we've become so conditioned to having noise constantly surrounding us that we don't even realise the TV is on. Sad isn't it!


So there you have it!

Implementing these 5 gems into your routine will make the world of difference to your qui! Eliminating many random noises of daily living and being consciously aware of the quiet times in your day will make ridiculous amounts of difference to your frame of mind. It's true - silence is golden :)

The time has come for the TRUTH to be exposed....

That's right folks - the time has come! Actually, it's long overdue. Too long has the general public been living in the dark, oblivious to the potential, blinded by the generalisations and presumptions, unaware of the secret weapon that could actually improve health, happiness, well-being and general quality of life of your loved ones!

The time has come for the truth to be exposed about MUSIC THERAPY in AGED CARE!!!

Referencing a bunch of questions and comments that I've heard over the years, let me make a few things clear....

"Oh, you've come to do a singalong! How lovely"
Out my mouth = "Yes, I've come for music therapy" (with a sweet smile).
In my mind = Actually I've come to work intensely and therapeutically with 30 individual residents in the space of one hour. I've come to observe their reactions, their interactions, their responses, their facial and bodily affect, the way they move, the way they express themselves verbally and non-verbally, to notice whether they instigate these responses or require facilitation, to assess their particular mood for that particular day in order to decide whether I aught adapt whatever session I had planned to better suit their needs. While I'm doing all of these things for a whole bunch of people all at the same time I'm going to smile and sing and make them FEEL like they are part of an old-time singalong or a chit chat or a trip down memory lane whilst all the while I am secretly addressing their therapeutic needs through musical interventions. So yeah - I guess you could say it's one complicated singalong! (Oh, apart from the times when we don't sing at all - like when we're dancing, exercising, song writing, relaxing, doing quizzes, going outside, going online etc. etc...)

"So, did you have to do some sort of training or a special course to be able to do this?"
Um - actually, YES, yes I did! Personally I did 6 years of Uni which included moving interstate, "hundreds" of hours of clinical placements, "hundreds" of hours of a Masters thesis, "hundreds" of hours of emotion and anxiety and insecurity. Music Therapy is an allied health profession and EVERY music therapist has to study for at least 4 years (in Australia anyway) and graduate to be able to register with the Australian Music Therapy Association. It's really not for the faint hearted!

"I'd rather you not play those war time songs because some of our residents might get emotional."
I had a facility manager ask me to "perhaps not sing songs that trigger memories from the war time" because a volunteer had seen a resident cry when we sang a war time tune. She also asked me not to sing about dogs as a resident who loved dogs had recently passed and she didn't want to risk upsetting anyone. I realised at this point that perhaps the facility manager didn't quite understand the concept of music 'therapy'! I asked if I could have some time to discuss the program with her and the volunteer and any other staff who were interested, but alas she did not have the time. I wanted to tell her that in fact it's not such a bad thing at all for a resident to shed a tear - especially to shed a tear in a group environment while others are there to support them emotionally, to heighten their sense of belonging amongst a bunch of their fellow residents, to have the opportunity to reminisce with others who often can honestly relate and show true empathy. The act of being supported therapeutically in such a setting is often enough to resolve that emotional blockage and improve their quality of life. To shed a great is often a FANTASTIC outcome!

Unfortunately the facility manager, who never had the time to listen to any of my explanations, eventually gave music therapy the boot :(

"Would you like me to go and get the song books for you?"
Thanks for the offer but I like the idea of 'exercising the mind'. Singing from memory is a great way to demonstrate recall of long term memory and is also SUPER EMPOWERING because, generally speaking, we never seem to lose lyrics permanently. We may need a reminder or we may need to hear the melody but it's a very rare occurrence to come across someone who has actually forgotten the lyrics to the 'golden oldies'.

While I'm on the topic of 'song books', imagine what it's going to be like when Gen Y are in aged care! To suit everyone's needs there'll have to be a hip-hop song book, a pop song book, a country song book... thank Goodness I'm working with people who only had the one station on the wireless - makes my audience much easier to please!

"I don't think we need any documentation, we'll take an attendance list and that should be enough - how about you just spend your time doing the music."
Sorry lady but it's MY professional credibility on the line here!! I must admit that in the early days I sometimes relented with this one (who wants to do paperwork anyway?) These days however it's a no brainer. Documentation is a must - Imagine if a physio therapist did weekly consults and didn't document what was happening with their clients!?!? Absolute outrage! Well it's EXACTLY the same with a Music Therapist. Imagine if the accreditors came to visit, saw music therapy listed on the calendar and found not a lick of paperwork in regards to what it was that we were doing!? Imagine if Vera was played country music during her palliative journey when she absolutely DESPISED country music but there was no MT assessment in her file so no one knew! Imagine if Basil's chair was placed 5 metres away from the music therapist, when an MT assessment would have CLEARLY shown that he was deaf in one ear and needed to be sat directly to the left of the therapist! Imagine if Esme's daughter asked you what you were trying to achieve through Esme's involvement in MT but and you had no Care-plan to show her! Imagine how unprofessional that would look! Imagine if Clyde's radio kept being turned on every morning but an MT evaluation would have shown that in fact, the radio has shown to make Clyde appear anxious and he should only have specifically selected music played to him. Eeeek - just the thought of it all makes me shudder!!

"Yeah we really want a music therapy program at our nursing home - we thought maybe you could run a choir?"
Haha, *chuckle*, the old choir suggestion hey... Yes, I totally love a good choir and don't deny their amazing therapeutic outcomes... and yes, many residents often have a long, positive history with choirs.... CHOIRS OF THE 1940's THAT IS! A time when the choir was an exclusive singing group, where you didn't sit with your friend you sat in your specific vocal group, there was absolutely no place for chatter, there was a large focus on hymns and there was a very definitive 'leader'. The choir of this day was a very serious event with a reputation to uphold. Go on, you try to eradicate these ingrained choir ethics from the mind's of the oldies... ha!

"Shall I go and get the box of instruments so the residents have something to shake?"
Hmmm, a tricky one and I often say "thanks, that'd be great" even though I usually feel uneasy about it. It's a very fine line between 'age appropriate and practical', 'patronising and creative', and I usually feel that handing out a bunch of shakers is a little bit too 'kindergarden' for aged care. Of course every resident is unique, shakers do have their place and some people will show endless joy from shaking their shakers...

But that time I took ten djembes to the nursing home with me was amazing! A new EXCITING instrument, a stimulating conversation about it's cultural background, able to be played by everyone as they sat at chair height and don't need to be held, a variety of sounds to be made and techniques to create them.

My advice to nursing homes on stocking up their activities cupboards with instruments??? Keep the box of shakers but add a bunch of exciting 'grown ups' instruments :)

"Come on, that's enough chat everyone - lets get back to the music"
This comment usually comes from the residents themselves but I'm always quick to reassure them that chatting is just fine with me! It's a great opportunity to demonstrate recall of long and short term memories, develop stronger social networks, support each other emotionally, express themselves verbally and develop a sense of control over their sessions. In fact the music part is really nothing more that a 'tool' that I use to actually encourage interactive discussions. Sometimes we will sing or listen to one song and then Woosh - the session takes a tangent. All of a sudden we are talking about motor vehicles, then we are talking about the olden days, then we are talking about residents families, then we are sharing happy memories of our childhoods - before we know it an hour has gone by and everyone is blissfully sharing their lives with each other. Music has played a very small but very vital part in this session and all the goals I was aiming for were achieved :)

"No there's probably no point working with him at this hour - he gets too anxious in the afternoons"
Afternoon anxiety + music therapy = a match made in heaven!!!!! Seriously! If you can organise a music therapist to be at your nursing home around 3pm(ish) you are onto a winner. Putting on a CD just doesn't cut it in this scenario, but having a music therapist sitting next to an anxious resident, making eye contact and singing soothingly with them really does make a difference. It can make a wandering resident stay still, a non-verbal resident sing along, an aggressive resident keep their hands to themselves and a distressed resident forget their worries.

"I don't think we really need music therapy here - we have a local group come and do a concert for us every couple of weeks".
Well hopefully after this post goes viral throughout the ever growing world of aged care networks this comment will never be made again!!!

Music therapy truly is SO MUCH MORE than a concert, a distraction or a singalong.

GET AMONGST IT!!!

Please don't hesitate to contact me at ohmymusicalgoodness@gmail.com if you have ANY questions about music therapy in aged care!!!

You could also contact the Australian Music Therapy Association on http://www.austmta.org.au/

Searching for SIMPLE and BEAUTIFUL musical WISDOM?? Look no further...

A Child’s Song By Alan Cohen

There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they’ve been born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was a thought in its mother’s mind. And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it. 

And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it. And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song. 

In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them. 

The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another. 

And it goes this way through their life. In marriage, the songs are sung, together. And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person. 

You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t. In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well. You may feel a little warbly at the moment, but so have all the great singers. Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.

“Sing Your Song,” from Wisdom of the Heart by Alan Cohen, copyright © 2002 by Alan Cohen. Published by Hay House, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. For more information on Alan Cohen’s books and programs, visit  alancohen.com

And OMMG how utterly beautiful is this artwork! Check out more here... 
https://www.facebook.com/BeneathMyHeartArt and here http://beneathmyheartart.blogspot.com.au/

the rise of STRONG, CONNECTED and LIFE-CHANGING women...

Well what an amazing musical journey I've been on today!

My mission was to find some good, strong, self-efficacy building song lyrics for young women - songs that would help them in their adventures of 'unconditional self-love' - one of every woman's greatest obstacles. Songs that, in enhancing their sense of self, would help women really believe that they can make a difference in their own lives. What I discovered was that it is almost impossible to find songs of this nature that don't focus on body image! I am beautiful, you are beautiful, looks don't matter, beauty is on the inside - blah, blah, blah!

Isn't it time we saw female self-worth as a concept that doesn't need to be addressed through beauty?

The endless number of pop singers singing about women who 'Are Already Beautiful' was too much to bear and just when my search seemed futile and I was about to abort mission I came across Mick Thomas' Vandemonian Lag project. And what I found was pure gold!

REAL STORIES about convict women who were transported for crimes of prostitution, for murder, for theft - women who were brought to Tasmania, who were thrust into a life of poverty, as criminals and who REGAINED THEIR LIVES AS STRONG CONNECTED WOMEN! Can you believe it?!



Now this is what I call motivational - I can not tell you how many young women I've worked with who are involved in crime, living in poverty, victims of consequence and part of a vicious cycle of low sense of self. It takes ridiculous amounts of belief in yourself to even imagine successfully breaking this cycle - and that is something these women don't usually have.

So, for you girls, HERE IS A POSITIVE MESSAGE!

Here are girls who've done it before. As Professor Lucy Frost says these women were tried for being disconnected themselves and here they are, against all odds, keeping their families together, giving them a sense of connectedness and developing their emotional stability.

It is SO possible! And THIS is the message I want young women to hear :)


Jane Gilligan - On The Town. Jane Gilligan was tried and convicted for prostitution, or as was documented, being 'on the town'.


Ann Myers. Annette Myers was convicted of shooting her husband in the head. A public campaign saw her death sentence altered to transportation after it was found he abused her.



Sex Hospital. Portrays the story of one of Tasmania's biggest sex scandals of the day.

Oh the joys of baby sign language

My 19 month old daughter knows two languages - English and Sign. 

She has no hearing impairment or sensory delays of any kind (well ok, she has a cataract, but for the point of the story she's in A1 sensory condition)! She doesn't appear to show any symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder, of developmental difficulties or speech impediments - but she does sign anyway!

I first found out about baby sign as a student music therapist at Ipswich Special School, Qld. I was amazed at how so many children with so many varied set of symptoms and characteristics were all able to communicate through this one beautiful channel! Since then I've tried to use sign with all the 0-4's I've had the pleasure of making music with. 

I've always thought "they probably don't even realise I'm doing anything" - a shake of the thumb as I say we're 'finished' with the instruments, a tap to the chin when I thank them and a policeman's hand up when we 'stop' - nothing that really stands out. But that was until I started using sign with my Maple - and then I realised that EVERY SINGLE HAND GESTURE THAT GOES WITH A WORD IS BEING PROCESSED!! Even after all those years of using sign I was astounded when I realised just how powerful a communication tool it actually is. 

It all started when, at 12 months, I decided to see if I could work out if Maple was actually 'finished' with her milk or if she was just playing that 'on/off/on/off game' with me. I asked "Maple are you finished?" and shook my thumb from side to side as I said it. Nothing. But at the VERY NEXT FEED - she looked up after 10 minutes, shook her thumb from side to side and moved away. From that day on 'finished' has been her keyword - she will tell me when she's finished with her milk, finished in the bath, finished her food, her book, her cuddle, even (yes I'm guilty of it) my ipad - she'll actually give it back after 5 minutes and tell me she's 'finished'. It's a beautiful thing to watch a toddler using signs in context and demonstrating total comprehension of what the words actually mean before they can speak them.

Makaton is the sign program I was first introduced to and is what I generally base my sign style on. Makaton is a language program which uses signs, words and symbols to encourage language development in those with communication difficulties. The program is divided into stages with the initial stages incorporating the most basic and common words such as Mummy, Daddy, bed, drink, food, toilet, please, thankyou etc... and the subsequent stages introducing more complex concepts and phrases. The signs are derived from AUSLAN (in Australia that is) as this is the cultural language of our deaf community. The word is always spoken when the sign is used and the pictorial symbols are helpful when working with children with more complicated communication delays.

I don't use symbols and I only really use signs from the first couple of stages of the program - these seem to give us enough of a basis in the language to be able to sign our general day-to-day needs. We also make up our own signs - funny ones that pertain to our own 'family language' and Maple has adapted some of the ones we've shown her which we've then taken on.

Sign language encourages eye contact, physical contact, non-verbal expression, verbal expression, fine and gross motor skills, positive neural development, cognitive involvement, social interaction and inclusion, facial expression and much, much more.

I love the idea that even though I only speak English I still have a second language - I love the idea that one day Maple might be able to communicate with children who a lot of other children can't communicate with and I love the idea that when I use signs at work other children, parents and educators are, often unbeknownst to them, processing a new language.

And I totally love it when Maple signs 'I love you Mummy'  - ahhh... melts the heart :)

My baby sign language workshop is available as a skype session for only $80 so contact me today!

OR

http://ohmymusicalgoodness.blogspot.com.au/p/upcoming-sessions.html
Come to one of my baby sign workshops and learn so much more!

OR...

http://www.babysignandlearn.com.au/
These folks have some great resources to help you get started on your sign journey

https://www.facebook.com/BabySignAndLearn
You can also find them on facey of course!

Dying To Know...

Death is somewhat like a disco ball - it has SO many sides...

When i was 6 my best friend died of Leukemia. I clearly remember the following day at school when our teacher told us all that if we needed a little cry during the day that it was OK, she was crying when she told us. I clearly remember thinking "Huh? Why would we feel like crying?"

A couple of years ago a teenager I'd been working with died unexpectedly and tragically. People kept telling us "It's OK to cry".  I was devastated and even now his death fills me with emotion and grief - though I barely knew him!

When I was a student music therapist a woman I was working with throughout her palliative journey in aged care died while I was playing the guitar to her - she had just told me that when she dies she'd become an angel and watch over me and my babies. The staff at the nursing home told me "it was OK to cry" - and I did - though I felt happy!

August 8th is the inaugural Dying to Know Day, a fabulous concept! A day dedicated to encouraging us to talk about death - to ask questions, share our plans, fears, discuss grief and bereavement, try and work it all out and most importantly support each other. Death comes to all of us multiple times throughout our lives and can affect us differently and profoundly every single time.

OF COURSE it's something we need to talk about more - why didn't we think of this before!??

It's time the topic of death became less taboo and more dinner table - lets make the 'death talk' something that people feel they can ask for without it being awkward.

You never know how much healing and peace may come from a conversation like this.

http://thegroundswellproject.com/dying-to-know-day/

The Language of Music...

A few things got me thinking about the language of music... it started with realising that Maple was starting to have minor tantrums, which got me thinking about how frustrating it must be to not be able to communicate when you know what you want to say but just don't know the words, which got me thinking about her actual 18 month old vocabulary (isn't it cute!!), which ultimately brought me to a memory of something my Dad wrote in my 18th birthday card - 

"The Language of music transcends all barriers".

No matter whether you're an 18 month old with limited vocab, an immigrant with little English skills, an elderly person with dementia, a really, really drunk person or someone who just doesn't really get literacy....

EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD CAN UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE OF MUSIC!!

Not only that but we can communicate and express ourselves through the language of music also - 

it's a language that knows no barriers!! 

Sure we all have our personal likes and dislikes - I love folk and can't stand pop, love classical, hate death metal etc. but whatever our personal choice may be we ALL understand the language of music! Music does not discriminate against race, age, culture, ability or identity.

So the moral of this story is lets listen to more music! Especially with our friends and family who don't quite work on the same communicate scale as us!!

Unless we are discussing apples, bubbles and daddy Maple isn't really an equal part of our conversation but when we are listening to music together we are ALL equals with our language skills and that must be an absolutely lovely feeling for her and do wonders for her sense of self :)

The sappy, sad love song...

I was wondering the other day about sad love songs and WHY OH WHY we all love listening to them! I’m not on my own here am I? We all go through sad love song stages, and not just when we’re broken hearted ourselves.

I’ll put it out there and say that sometimes, when I’m by myself, I like to listen to a good old sad love ballad of the 90’s on high volume and on repeat a few times!

OMMG, I can not believe I just told you that!

My theory is that sad love songs allow us to access that emotion within us that we generally try and stifle as we go about our day-to-day lives.

A classic example – Something difficult is going on in your life but you have to go to work and do the other things you do and you don’t want your family and friends to worry so you suck up the sad feeling and get on with things. The problem resolves itself in time and you feel fine again BUT in the mean time you’ve shut a certain amount of sad feeling up inside of you! A very natural thing to do really!

Bring on the sad love ballad and you’ll probably find that even though your relationship is rock solid, your dog hasn’t died and your family aren’t driving you crazy you’ll still get enough involved in the song to feel that sad feeling and THUS…. RELEASE IT FROM CAPTIVITY WITHIN YOU!!!

The sad love song is the perfect outlet for the sad feeling!!!!

Another perfect example of musical goodness!

Introducing 'Oh My Musical Goodness'

Musical Goodness is a term I like to use to describe all that is good about the “music” in our lives.

This is more than simply what we listen to, the concerts we go to, our playlists and our western scale. Musical goodness is about the very nature of sound, vibration, communication, song, spirit, energy, rhythm, melody, emotion, expression, and so the list goes! 

This is what music therapy means to me, and it is my TRUE belief that every single person can embrace musical goodness every day in oh so many ways.

I offer my short stories, reflections, information and resources as a source of musical goodness – enjoy.